This is a difficult fear to battle. I withhold quite a few good ideas for fear I'll look like a fool if I share. I don't reach out to others because maybe they don't need a new friend. I don't like playing or singing in front of really good musicians because even if they don't verbalize it, they probably think I'm not very good. Or worse, that I'm terrible and bless-my-heart, I don't even know it. I get nervous when people read my writing because maybe they think I don't know what I'm talking about, or my style is dumb, or I might horrify them by the things I say.
I'm sure all these things exist mostly in my imagination. But sometimes the rejection is real, and you know it. Especially when you hear things like "don't call us, we'll call you" or "we're just not on the same page" or "if we're interested, we'll let you know". These comments just make me want to melt away forever. I wish I could be one of those people who can take it well. One of those whose confidence can't be shaken. But since I'm not, I've found a couple of ways to conquer my dread of rejection.
First, before I put myself "out there" I try to be sure I've been led of the Holy Spirit. If what I do or say is in keeping with what He would have me do or say, then what others think doesn't even matter. If they reject me, they reject Him.
Also, I determine to trust in the big picture. I trust that He will perfect that which concerns me. I choose the option of accepting "no" with a peace that He has something better down the road. He's working all things for my good and His glory.
I heard someone say awhile back that "man's rejection is God's protection". A very insightful truth. Of course, I heard it in the context of publishers rejecting book proposals. And as it turns out, having a book rejected still wasn't very fun. But He is sovereign so I'll cling anyway.
9 comments:
Just wanted to comment that the very reason I, a male, subscribed to a chic blog :) is because I very much enjoy your writing. Actually, I have subscriptions to about 30 blogs. Yours is one of 4 or 5 that I read regularly. Be encouraged.
Yes and Amen...I couldn't have written it as well...I have learned the same lessons. I too ask the Holy Spirit before entering a new adventure...and then if rejection comes I know it was something the Lord knew was coming. I also have learned that "rejection can be God's protection"..which really makes it easier to walk through.
Great post....oh my, the schemes of the enemy are all the same!
Wow. I'm honored and humbled at the same time. A man reading my "chic" blog ... it both encourages me and makes me laugh! Blessings to you.
" the schemes of the enemy are all the same" ... aren't they, though?! Thank you for your kind words and thank you for stopping by:)
Love this post!!! Thanks for sharing your heart and being so open! I too struggle with rejection- even with little things like you mentioned- when people read my writing.... thanks for the encouragement to be myself today and always!!
Thank you, Charissa. It's funny how hard it is to write about things like this and then people come out of the woodwork saying they feel the same way!
The fear of rejection has been atop my list of things I battle for years. I'm not sure when it first reared its ugly head, but when it did, it clung on for dear life. It has affected nearly EVERYTHING I've done throughout my entire life.
It's only through abiding in HIM that the fear subsides. My desire is to please HIM, first and foremost. He will NEVER reject me and went to the ~enth degree to RESCUE us. What a Father!
It really CAN affect everything we do! And the only way to conquer it is, like you said, seek to please Him first.
This really hit home with me. I have such a problem with feeling inferior. I perceive myself as rejected before people even have the chance to reject me... so thank you for this uplifting post. It's good to know I'm not alone.
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