Bouncing back from heartache

Life is full of heartache and disappointment. We all have terrible things happen, but do we respond in a productive way? I've observed two kinds of people:

#1 When something horrible happens, they give up. They go to bed, pull the covers over their head, and stay there for awhile. Some stay in bed longer than others, depending on personality and level of gumption. But eventually they get out of the bed--and when they do, they get up with real gusto! They determine to live, in spite of the horrible thing(s) in their life. They set out to make a new life for themselves. They follow their dreams; they pursue true happiness. They go places, meet new people, do new things. Now they understand exactly what it will take to make them happy, and they set out to obtain it. Do they find happiness? Usually, at least for awhile.

#2 They simply seek God. They say, "Thy will be done"--and they mean it. They allow Him to set their path. Though it's difficult and scary, they determine to trust in Him. And then they wait on Him, for as long as it takes. They are willing because they realize that His timing is perfect and that He sees what we don't see, and He knows what we don't know. They don't let their anxieties or their fleshly desires pull them away from the things He has in store for them. Through the process, He draws them near. And in the end, they find real joy.

I have been a #1--and boy, was I happy! I figured out exactly what it would take to fulfill me, and I went after it. When I found it, I was elated! It almost made me thankful for the heartache, otherwise I would never have discovered so much happiness!

But I learned that when you're a #1, the happiness is only an illusion. It's only temporary. At first you think your new life is everything you ever wanted, but then all of the sudden you realize it's nothing like you thought it would be. In most cases, you end up bitterly disappointed by the lie that sucked you in. Once you realize you've been deceived, it's too late to go back and do it over again. You're devastated to figure out that you don't really know as much as you thought you did.

But the good news for a #1 is that after you crash and burn, you get the chance to start over and be a #2. You get to seek God this time. You get the choice to travel down His path instead of yours from this day forward, and it doesn't even matter that you messed up. He allows you to put the past behind you and start over, just like that.

As a #2, you get to live your life walking toward all the wonderful things He has in store for you. You get to relinquish your future to Him; and in return, He takes your burden and deals with it for you. You get to let go of the worry and trust Him to handle it all. You can rest in knowing that you are on the right path. Period. And you get to experience peace, love, joy beyond your wildest dreams. For a #2, the happiness is real, although a shallow word like "happiness" can't begin to describe the experience of true joy in the Lord.

We are all wounded souls struggling to make it in a difficult world. It always blesses me when I get to talk to someone who chose to run to God in in the midst of a trial--and found Him to be their Answer. It encourages me to do the same, and it also helps me to put my pain in perspective.

I've come to know that pain purifies. The only thing to do in times of pain is to run to Him. He's the only One who can take the bad and turn it into something wonderful, to the point where we come to realize that we wouldn't even recognize the abundance of our blessing were it not for the pain.

As much as it hurt me in the process, I'm thankful He converted me to a #2. May we seek Him always, in the happy times and especially in the heartache.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Grace that covers my messes

The other day my younger daughter got in trouble because of her messy room. It was a catastrophe in there, and things got even worse once she started cleaning. At one point, when I looked in to find that the chaos had multiplied, I almost blew a gasket. Just seeing it sent my blood pressure soaring.

But she really does have an affinity for organization (if rarely tapped into), so after working on it for awhile, she cleared a lot of the clutter away, and things started looking pretty good. The next time I walked by, I saw quite a lot of improvement, so I let it go.

Sometimes I look at my life and see that the mess I've made of things is pretty unbelievable, too. One poorly made decision can lead us down a path of untold heartache. Then we try to fix our mess the best we know how, but we make things worse instead of better. Maybe we don't seek the Lord's help, for whatever reason (shame, pride, ignorance, etc.). In fact, I've known a lot of people who've actually been mad at God because of their circumstances. I empathize with irrational thinking of various types, but so far I haven't gotten mad at God.

The person I blame for my mess is me. I'm the one who didn't always seek His will for my life. I'm the one who failed to choose the route leading me to a life of His very best for me. I really have messed up in a big way, and it overwhelms me often. Sometimes the consequences of an ill-chosen path are enough to chasten us into doing better next time, because it's never fun to clean up a mess.

But I serve a gracious God. I can go to Him with my catastrophes and beg Him to help me fix things. And He shows me His abounding grace time after time and leads me out of the mayhem. He clears away my clutter, He helps me figure out how to go about reorganizing and prioritizing things, and He gets me back on track (His track).

Thinking back, I wish I'd shown my daughter grace the other day. I wish I'd helped her clean up the mess instead of getting upset about all the bad choices she'd made to let things get to that point. What would my life be like if the Lord came down as hard on me for my bad decisions?

I'm definitely not my children's best example of how not to make messes, nor am I skilled at cleaning them up. But my Gracious God accomplishes His purposes in me anyway--in spite of me.

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness...."   2 Corinthians 12:9a

I finally get it

Several years ago, a teacher at my school was suffering through a painful divorce. She and I talked often since I'd been through it, too. Her husband was in ministry, and I could see that she'd been an excellent helpmate for him. Deeply spiritual, she would talk to me about how her faith was growing and how she was learning to let God fill her void.

During a chat one day, she said something like "You know how it is...the Lord becomes your Husband." I nodded in agreement with her. But in my mind I was thinking, I have no earthly idea what she's talking about.

I never thought about that conversation again until recently. Now, years later, I think about how sad it is that I didn't seek God with passion during that season of my life. Yes, I prayed, but I didn't seek His will. Instead, I asked Him to give me what I wanted and then plunged right in, never really listening to what He had to say about it. Oh, the heartache I could've avoided if only I had sought Him....

I'm told that when one writes a book, it's ideal to speak from a platform. I've been praying about this, and at last, I think my platform is springing forth out of the ash heap. My passion is to see others seek God in times of pain and tragedy. We must seek Him every day, even when life is going smoothly.

But when the times get hard and the fear, discouragement, and loneliness set in, for some reason it's so tempting to run somewhere else besides Him. I don't know why that is, but if I've learned anything, it's that He is always there, no matter what. We can't always say that about the people we love and depend on, but we can say it about Him. He will not fail us under any circumstances.

My most popular post of all time continues to be one I wrote on this subject, about how He fills the void in my life. People need to know this about Him--that He is waiting to fill us and bless us abundantly. But we have to make room for Him.

I want hurting people to know that He's the one they can turn to when their situation becomes desperate. It's futile to look for our worth, identity, or fulfillment in another person, but looking to the Lord Jesus is a different story altogether. He is the only One in Whom we can find strength, love, rest, redemption, grace, mercy...you name it, He provides it. There is no way we'll be shortchanged when we let Him fill the void. He wants to make up for all we've lost, as well as all we never had in the first place.

And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.  Psalm 9:10 

New web design (and a request or two...)

Thanks to the amazing Design Diva, I have a new web design! She provided me many amazing options, but for reasons I discussed in my tree post, I had to go with the tree. I really do love trees! Let me know how you like it (leave me a comment!).

Toward the end of next month, I am going to attend the writers' track of a conference in North Carolina (She Speaks 2011), during which I will have the opportunity to meet with publishers and agents and learn more about polishing my book proposal.

I covet your prayers as I seek the Lord's direction in writing my book. There's so much I want to write about, and things are all swirly in my mind right now. I need the Lord to clear my thoughts and help me focus. I also desperately need His help in figuring out how to impress the socks off of potential publishers.

For now, I need to get as many "Likes" as possible on my Facebook page. It's also of great benefit to have an abundance of subscribers to my blog, whether through RSS or email. A good following on Twitter would be awesome, too, but my involvement there has been a little pathetic (I'm trying to do better and "tweet" more often).

If you could follow me by one or two or three or all four of the ways I've listed above, I'd be so grateful! Also, if you could pass this request along to your friends, it would be a huge help to me.

Thank you for reading my blog. I know my posts aren't always captivating, but they are definitely from the heart. Some of you already know this, but almost every time I post something here, I get nauseous. I wonder who will care what I have to say...what right do I have to discuss spiritual things in the public realm...you name it, it probably enters my mind. So thank you for the encouraging things you say to me about my writings. The Lord has given me a story to tell, and I'm going to tell it despite the obstacles.

So...I'll be seeing you either here, on Facebook, on Twitter, through email, or in your RSS feed reader. Thank you again! And since I'm in the habit of doing so, I'll leave you with a scripture--one that has been on my heart for some reason these past few days. It doesn't really relate to this post...

or does it? ....

Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Psalm 73:25-26 NKJV

Power came down (and Heaven IS for real)

Once in awhile, God grants us the precious opportunity to witness His awesome power at work in a literal sense before our eyes.

For me one of these times was during a sermon at my old church. My pastor was the victim of an extremely aggressive form of lymphoma, and his illness required him to endure treatments that all but killed him. But the faithful shepherd that he was, he had pledged to his congregation and to his God that he would be there to preach every single Sunday he found it humanly possible to do so.

One Sunday morning, though, he was almost too weak to walk to the stool waiting for him at the pulpit. But he managed and perched there at his usual spot. He began to speak, his voice barely above a whisper. Crying weakly, he opened with prayer. I clearly remember his desperate plea for the Lord to help him. He simply did not have the strength to accomplish what he wanted so badly to do.

But he persisted in prayer, and his voice began to grow stronger. Then, as he started preaching, the anointing came in. His voice became like normal. His presence was commanding. His words pierced my heart. It wasn't long before he was standing and pacing the platform, the way he always did. Tears flowed among the people.

The Lord did a mighty work that day, and my pastor preached one of the most amazing messages I've ever heard. I had the honor of witnessing the power of God literally at work in front of me, moving in the lives of a devoted servant and his congregation. God showed up that day, and it's a precious memory I'll always cherish.

Yesterday I read Heaven is for Real. So many things continue to swirl in my mind today, but I can't quit thinking about chapter 23, "Power from Above". I'm still in awe after reading what Colton tells his mother Sonja about God's power. They were about to pray for Colton's father Todd, a pastor, that he would deliver a good message in church that week...

Colton: "I've seen power shot down to Daddy."
Sonja: "What do you mean, Colton?"
Colton: "Jesus shoots power down for Daddy when he's talking."
Sonja: "Okay ... when? Like when Daddy talks at church?"
Colton: "Yeah, at church. When he's telling Bible stories to people."

Later, Todd asks him about this Power from above.

Todd: "... Can you you tell me what you were telling Mommy about ... about Jesus shooting down power? What's the power like?"

Colton: "It's the Holy Spirit. I watched Him. He showed me."

Todd: "The Holy Spirit?"

Colton: "Yeah. He shoots down power for you for when you're talking in church."

Of Colton's memory, Todd writes:

Every Sunday morning before I give the sermon, I pray a similar prayer: "God, if you don't help this morning, this message is going to fail." In light of Colton's words, I realized I had been praying without really knowing what I was praying for. And to imagine God answering it by "shooting down power" ... well, it was just incredible. (126)

Like most Christians, I know what it's like to need the power of God behind me when I set out to do something I'm not prepared for. It's a scary thing to open my mouth to speak to someone who needs comfort or ministry, only to find that no words will come.

But I also know what it's like to have the Holy Spirit meet me right where I am to give me His wisdom when I ask for it. I know how it feels when the words begin to flow supernaturally as He speaks through me. Those are the only words of benefit to others anyway!

But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him.  1 John 2:27 NKJV

I thank God that when I am too weak or ignorant to be any good on my own, I can trust the Holy Spirit for His anointing, whether I'm speaking, teaching, worshiping, or simply ministering to a friend. Even greater, I have the assurance that He actually hears and responds to my cries. He empowers me to fulfill His calling on my life.

Lord, thank You that You always know exactly when to show up. Continue to shoot Your power down to me. You know how much I need You!

Burpo, Todd. Heaven is for real: A little boy's astounding story of his trip to Heaven and back. Thomas Nelson: Nashville, 2010.

Let me be a tree...

Oh, how I love a big, beautiful tree.

I had lots of trees growing up. My father loves them, too, and he always made sure we had plenty of trees in our yard. If we moved into a house that didn't have enough trees, he would hire big trucks to haul them in and plant them. One time he bought a new tree for each of us, and we even got to name it. Mine was named Albert.

Now I live in a new-ish neighborhood that lacks mature vegetation, and I am missing the trees.

I have one lone tree in my yard--a young live oak. It seems healthy enough, but it's sensitive to the heat, and I have to water it often. It's fighting to grow and become stronger, but sometimes it struggles.

I am like that tree.

But I have hope, because I know that one day the little tree that grows in my yard will mature into an inviting presence to grace the outside of my home. It will stand tall and its roots will go deep. Its branches will be hearty after years of pruning. It will be strong enough for children to climb and sturdy enough to withstand dangerous winds and bad weather. Some day it will bear fruit, and its acorns will feed squirrels and birds and provide seed for new life. Its presence will draw people into the protection of its shade. It will be solid. It will be a tree mature enough to endure all seasons.

I hope to grow into this kind of tree. But like the little tree outside, I have a long way to go. I try to do well, but the heat gets to me. I need quite a bit of attention from my Caretaker. I also need a lot of pruning, and I'm sure I must require Him to work extra hard to rid me of the lifeless, unfruitful parts of my heart. Even though I might bear fruit, it's not as much as I'd like. My roots don't go all that deep yet; I stay very thirsty. I'm too weak to do a good job of standing tall in storms. In fact, oftentimes I bend in the wind, almost to the breaking point. I have a lot of maturing to do yet.

But I know He is doing a work in me. May He continue to prune me, even though it hurts. I want to be deeply rooted and strong enough to endure through every season, no matter what life hurls at me. I want to bear fruit so that others may see Jesus in me. I want to live a holy life that compels others to do the same. Just as an old oak tree draws us to its shade, I pray that I might be the kind of example that draws others into His presence. May He use me to plant seeds in the hearts of others that will bring forth a bountiful harvest of souls for His kingdom.

He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. Psalm 1:3

Lord, grow me into this kind of tree....

I will not sulk

I'm surrounded by people, yet I am lonely.

It seems crazy that someone like me could be lonely. I have a house full of kids to keep me company ... an extended family eagerly waiting for a call or a visit ... a whole host of friends who'd love to go out for coffee ... even a couple of codependent dogs who aren't happy unless they are snuggled up to somebody.

I feel so deeply for all lonely souls who truly don't have anyone to spend time with ... those who've never been part of a fellowship of believers ... shut-ins who can no longer get out in the world and interact with others ... hurting hearts who feel that no one loves them ... nursing home residents long forgotten by their families ....

Then I think of how blessed I am and feel like such a baby for whining about being lonely. But sometimes the things that happen to us can put is in a very lonely spot. Our circumstances isolate us, and it's way too easy to pout about it---especially when the enemy torments us with lies that "no one understands" or "no one cares". But to dwell here is dangerous because loneliness often leads to the trap of focusing on self.

I wonder how different my life would be if, every time I felt lonely, I would take it as my cue to run to my Father, in Whom I find assurance that I am never alone? What if, instead of dwelling on all that's happened to put me in this lonely place, I would grab my Bible and meditate on the promises of His love and His constant presence in my life? What if, rather than sulking, I chose to thank Him for everything under the sun? What if, rather than complaining to Him, I chose to adore Him, to devote myself to Him completely, to exalt Him to the heights He deserves? What if, instead of pouting, I simply worshiped Him?

This requires discipline because the last thing I want to do when I'm down and depressed is worship. But when I can bring myself to do so, I know I won't stay down for long because as His word promises, He inhabits the praises of His people.

Paul and Silas exemplified this in Acts 16. Beaten and in chains, those two must have felt intensely alone in their circumstances. But instead of wallowing, they sang hymns of praise to their God, loudly enough for the other prisoners to hear. I clearly need to hear as well. God inhabited their praises as He is so faithful to do, even today. Once they responded with praise, He moved and caused an earthquake that released them from their chains. Amazing! I wonder how things would have turned out if Paul and Silas had pouted and sulked, the way I tend to do. What a lesson.

This week all four of my kids are out of town, and so far I've done quite a lot of wallowing. But I'm done with that. I'm finally viewing this alone-time as my opportunity to draw near to Him, to spend time with Him, to thank Him, and to worship Him. What a privilege!

So, no more sulking.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him and bless His name. Psalm 100:4

Lord, when I find myself feeling lonely in my circumstances, give me the strength and the discipline to praise You instead of wallowing. Help me make the most of my time alone; help me think to spend it with You ....

No, it does NOT smell like sunscreen...

It was one of those rare times when I had a few hours to myself and was able to meander in and out of fun little shops at random. I found some expensive lotion that I really loved, but I didn't want to pay the price for it. So being the cheap-wad that I am, I decided to go home and look for a discount online ...

A few evenings later, I was beside myself as I tore into my package, just dying to get my hands on my brand new, high-fallutin' lotion. I couldn't wait to smell it! I ripped off the plastic and started slathering....I felt like I would never tire of inhaling the aroma! In all my rapture, I even considered abandoning my perfume-wearing habit to make this luxurious lotion my new signature scent....

After a bit more delightful sniffing, I went in to kiss my younger son goodnight. I hugged him and told him I loved him. And he said, "I love you, too ... but Mom? Why do you have on sunscreen?".

Sunscreen.

Sunscreen. I couldn't believe it. My beautiful new lotion. The nicest, most expensive lotion I've ever had, and he thought it smelled like sunscreen! It did NOT smell like sunscreen. It really didn't! It smelled delicious!

What a disappointment. But life is like that sometimes. We have our own ideas and expectations of how things are supposed to be, and so often it just doesn't turn out the way we thought it would. And it usually involves something much more life-altering than the smell of fancy new lotion. Maybe we didn't get that job we were hoping for ... or someone we love dies ... or the house doesn't sell in time to save our credit ... or our marriage fails ... or a child wanders off course ... or tragedy strikes and changes our lives forever ....

The only thing to do in the midst of disappointment is run to the One Who does not disappoint. Look to His promises. His word is living and active, and it applies to us today, no matter what's happening in our lives. It's amazing how He speaks to us through His word, in all situations.

People disappoint. Circumstances disappoint. But our Heavenly Father never, ever disappoints. We may feel disappointed in Him at times, but it's because we don't trust Him, or we become impatient. But the truth is, He will never fail us. Nothing is certain in this life except Him. He is real, He is solid, He never moves, He never changes. He loves us and has only His very best in mind for us.

Trust Him. He's worth waiting for. He knows what He's doing, and He will not disappoint.

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out! Romans 11:33 

What's in the heart?

Recently someone wrote something mean about me---something that suggested that I don't live the things I write about. When I read it, my heart sank and I got that cannon-ball-in-the-stomach feeling. But a scripture instantly came to mind:

But You, O Lord, are a Shield about me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head. (Psalm 3:3)

I tried for days to dwell on this scripture and not be hurt by the cutting words. I tried very hard---and I did well in the beginning. I do believe He is my Shield. If He wasn't, I'd be in trouble. I realize that I can't put myself out there the way I do on this blog and not expect readers to take issue with me at times, or to see that I fall short regarding the topics I write about. I know that people who open themselves up publicly like I'm doing need a thick skin.

Sometimes when others hurt us, the initial shock is numbing. Maybe we're fine at first, but then the memory of what hurt us keeps coming to mind, and we are more affected by it. I've tried to tell myself that this person's comment didn't hurt... but the fact is, it did hurt. It hurt deeply. Today, two weeks later, all I've wanted to do is cry about it. What was only a scratch in the beginning has grown to be quite a deep wound. My skin just isn't very thick at all.

In the past couple of years I have been faced with so much accusation, so much blame, so much heartache over the untrue things that others believe about me---and I've been learning some hard lessons in forgiveness. I'm just a regular person who messes up often, redeemed and living by grace, trying to please God and do what's right in His sight...but things don't always appear that way to others.

We can look at someone and take what we see at face value. But that doesn't mean we know their heart.

Perhaps this is one way I can grow through these painful experiences of judgment and blame. I've always heard that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. But I do. Oh, I definitely do. And I don't want to anymore, because my experience tells me that things just aren't always as they seem.

Lord, help me know You as my Shield. This hurts, but I know You are here to comfort me. Help me allow You to do just that. And help me remember that things aren't necessarily the way they appear. Help me not forget that only You can know another person's heart. Help me to love others with Your love and to let You do the judging. Amen.

My love/hate relationship with summer

SCHOOL'S OUT! As of this afternoon, I am officially on summer vacation. This is by far the biggest perk of teaching, and it's a welcome relief from the exhausted state we all find ourselves in after these final weeks of the school year. Most of us feel like we'll die if we don't get at least a little bit of rest.

So I really love the the time off, but there are other things I love about summer, too....

...the food, for one...the home-grown vegetables...the homemade ice cream...the fruit smoothie concoctions...all the yummy meals that come from throwing anything and everything on the grill...

...and the memories of summers gone by...playing in the sprinklers...bike rides uptown to Yarbrough's Grocery (rides that wouldn't even be permissible today)...the chlorine up the nose as we played in the pool...chasing fireflies...snapping beans...the smell of the public library, the indecisiveness over which Trixie Belden book to read next...lying out on the trampoline with good friends on quiet nights, talking and listening to crickets and gazing at the stars...

The mere sound of a lawnmower or the smell of fresh-cut grass can bring it all back in a flash. But as my grandmother wrote in my high school graduation card , "To smell the roses in life, you must endure the thorns...". So as much as I love summer, it definitely has its thorns...

...the blistering Texas heat...the pain of sunburned shoulders...the bug bites that'll drive you crazy...the higher light bills...the obligation to come up with more meals to cook...the kids' complaints of boredom after only a couple of weeks...

...but the worst part of summer for me is the yardwork. I clench my jaw even at the mention of it. The devil has a marvelous time with me every time I attempt it. I don't know how to make my yard look as pretty as the neighbors...I never seem to have enough gas or string...I don't know how to fix the yard equipment when it doesn't work like it should (and it rarely ever does)...and the list goes on. Basically, I just don't have any savvy at all when it comes to yardwork.

As silly as it is, my dread of yardwork often overshadows all the things I love about summer. I try to go out and conquer my yard with a good attitude, but the heat saps my energy and the equipment problems discourage me, and as is so typical, my focus shifts to the wrong thing and I am overwhelmed. All those old feelings of anger come rushing back...Why am I having to do this?... I've been deserted and left to handle all of this on my own... I can't do it anymore... no one understands what I go through...

It all makes summer seem like one big, unpleasant drought.

I have a friend who came from up north. He says he wasn't very happy about it when the Lord transplanted him to Texas a couple of years ago. One of the things he dislikes the most about living down here is...(don't be shocked)...this wretched Texas heat. Recently he mentioned that he'd heard someone talk about the strange practice we have here in the South of watering our foundations.This was a foreign concept to him. So it got me thinking...

...I was thinking about how we water our foundations...and how we water our yards...and how we water our houseplants, our trees, our flowers...

...and how He waters our souls. 

Selah.

I don't really have the energy right now to face summer. I'm exhausted and running dry. I can't handle the thought of yardwork right now, let alone the tasks, responsibilities, and decisions demanded of me in every-day life. The way I'm feeling, I could sleep for weeks. The way I'm feeling, I could ignore this laundry-cluttered, dust-bunny-infested house for the rest of my life.

Yet my to-do list remains, staring me in the face, looming large in my mind and oppressing me, and I have to keep going. I know what my problem is; I know what I'm really thirsting for. I need Him now as never before to be my Strength, my Refreshment, my Spring of Living Water. And He is so faithful to be all of that for me and so much more.


The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones; you shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. Isaiah 58:11

I know I won't always be this tired. In fact, I'll probably feel quite a bit better by the time I get up in the morning for church. But for now, I'm going to go out back with my Mason jar of sweet tea and my Bible and swing for a bit...and have me a drink of some Living Water. :)

Don't Look Back

One of my all-time favorite movies is Hope Floats. I love the scene where Birdee Calvert (Sandra Bullock) is driving away with her daughter to leave her familiar life and a broken marriage with plans of returning to her roots in Texas.

She gently reprimands her daughter for turning around from the front seat to look back because it's bad luck, but even Birdee herself can't help glancing in the rearview mirror as the house grows smaller in the distance, the shredded curtains in the abandoned windows left behind as evidence of her fury over her husband's infidelity. Unfair circumstances have forced them to leave their old life behind and start over again, and it’s just not easy to let go.

Oh, how I can relate. Change is so scary. One of the most difficult things to do in life is to let go of the past. Even when our current life isn’t all that spectacular, we’re afraid the future will be even worse. This fear can be crippling. And it can hold us back from all the blessing God has in store for us when we are willing to trust Him for a brand new life.

Change is not only frightening, it’s often painful. But it’s also something we can embrace as a God-given opportunity to grow spiritually by leaps and bounds. When my life has fallen apart and my world seems to be ending, what else is there to do but run to the One Who holds me in His hand? He Who has begun a good work in me is more than able to see it through and deliver me. He is more than worthy of my trust.

For the past year I’ve had some scriptures from Isaiah 43 posted on my wall at work. During those difficult days when I’ve struggled not to dwell on my overwhelming circumstances, my eyes once again run across those precious words that always serve to remind me to let the past go and believe that God is doing a new thing in my life.

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19 (KJV)

I’m not saying it’s always easy to embrace the future. I still struggle with the desire to look back on my past and dwell on the things I’ve lost or the things I regret. But I’m so thankful that my God is gracious enough to allow me to start all over again every time I need to. He never gets tired of me. I’m thankful that I haven’t turned into a thousand pillars of salt by now. Instead, He lifts my head and points my face in the direction of His light. He gives me the strength to keep walking toward my future. And as more time goes by, I find myself wanting to run.

Hope Floats. 20th Century Fox. 1998. DVD.