So I sent the kids on and settled in for a relaxing evening, but it wasn't long before the guilt crept in. It's the same guilt that has kept me faithful as a church attendee for my entire adulthood.
So as that oppressive cloud settled in over me and squelched my plans for the night, I pondered what was really going on and thought about all the ways I've let this guilt control me in the past. It's a wonderful thing to attend church every time the doors are open. And I suppose that if one has no other motivation, going out of sense of duty is better than not going at all.
But guilt as a motivator doesn't set well with me anymore. I'm tired of failing to measure up to this unspoken list of legalistic standards. I'm weary of trying to adhere to the very rules Jesus died to obliterate. Who is this judge that guilt-trips me, anyway?
I'm thinking it's me. So I hereby reject legalism in favor of just plain loving Jesus.
Lord, may I pay my tithe not out of obligation, but because I love You and want to further the ministry of Your Kingdom ...
May I serve You not because I can't say no, but because it brings me joy to use the gifts You've given me ...
May I find my identity not in my past, but in You. So what if I've been divorced before? Your blood has washed me holy-white and I don't have to answer to anybody for it (including the Church) ...
May I look at others not in judgment, but with eyes of compassion. May I see them as You do and love them with Your love ...
May I never again drag my exhausted self to church out of guilt, but let me go instead because I crave fellowship with Your people and I'm absolutely desperate for Your rejuvenating presence ...
So bring on the conviction, Lord, but may the self-condemnation be gone forever, in Jesus name.I'm done with religion. You don't need it when you have relationship.
For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:2
231. I gave my talk and God showed up
232. three-day weekends
233. thundershowers
234. new friends
235. welcoming hearts
236. friends you can text "PRAY" to and they will, even if they don't know why
237. new curtains and how they can transform a room
238. His leading
239. quiet days to myself
240. Pier One and Pottery Barn catalogs (I can always dream)
241. He set me free
245. reconnecting with old friends
246. pears
247. seafood enchiladas at Rockfish (heavenly)
248. deep, dreamless sleep
249. a rekindled desire to eat healthfully
250. the sound of RAIN hitting the roof, and once again drought is ended. Amen.
.
*This post is part of a series running through the month of October 2011. Read from the beginning here. Find the other 31-Dayers here
28 comments:
Great article and I loved your last sentence about not needing religion when you have a relationship! I will share that with others. You hit the nail right on the head!
Thank you, Brandy. It's taken me way too long to get it.
Yes, so true - I loved this: "So I hereby reject legalism in favor of just plain loving Jesus." I have had too much legalism in my past, as well - and sometimes it still creeps in. But loving Jesus is best! I enjoyed reading your list - have a great week!
Amy, I love your prayer! So many, especially those of us who were raised going to church every time the door is open, struggle with the false guilt that Satan tries to throw at us. It is a false guilt!! And I'm done with it, too! :-D Thank you for, yet again, another beautiful post.
I can also tend to let guilt consume me when I decide to just "take a break". I am at church every Sunday, and 3 nights a week in the House of Prayer. As an admin, I am missed when I am not there, which I love, but I have be allow others to assume my responsibilities when I am not there. I loved your prayer! And I love your list. I talk about #238 on my blog today!
Thank you, Cherry!
Yes ... a false guilt. Thank you, Jace:)
His leading ... can't wait to read. I have to catch up! Busy weekend ....
beautiful post....beautiful prayer....beautiful list of thanks!
Ah yes. I regularly have to work through this issue. It's something I know... but needs to be revisited often!
And yes, we are free in Christ!
Who the Son sets free, is free indeed!
And AMEN to number 250!
friends who pray. such a good gift from our heavenly Father. I'm grateful too, that I have faithful sisters! blessings to you from Uganda
:) AMEN!
"Done with religion"..oh how He challenges me with this--just. relationship.
Rich blessings as you choose Him and as you trust in what's right for you.
I have so enjoyed reading these posts. Today's post was incredible, as I too, grew up going to church whenever the doors were open (being an MK). And so many times feel guilty missing even when I am sick. But I also desire to have relationship and not just religion, because learning the hard way, that's what it is about. Loving my Jesus, and serving because I love Him, not because I feel guilty for not following the "rules". Still battle this ever so frequently. Thanks for sharing your heart, your gift list, and your prayer.
It's all about the RELATIONSHIP we have with him, not RELIGIOUS do's or don'ts. Coming to that realization FREED me!
Once again, thank you for your honestly and transparency, my friend!
Love this. Have fought legalism most of my life but truly desire just to know Him!
This realization has freed me, too. Legalism puts us in prison!
Thank you for your kind words, Amy. I so understand where you're coming from as far as the guilt!
Thank you, and blessings to YOU.
Hello, my Uganda friend:)
Being too legalistic is a hard habit to break, indeed. But we are already free, we just have to stop imposing the law on ourselves.
Thank you:)
Thanks for stopping by, Stacy:)
Amen, Laurie. When we live a certain way our whole lives, it definitely takes a conscious effort to change the way we think.
hi Amy,
here from Ann's. "done with religion.." i liked the finality of that. grace is so slippery that we MUST be this determined. this was good for me to read, because i haven't been able to attend church. there are seasons when we are not able to "do", but we have to be still and wait, like a seed lying dormant deep in the ground. i like how Ann V. talks about the dormancy of winter and how this cycle is necessary for life to come forth. the problem with humans is that we think that we are never supposed to stop producing. we try to shun and rebel against the natural process that God created. we have our "to do" lists, or our "good deeds" that must get done. but God says there is a season to just wait, to just rest, to just trust in Him. i want to write a post on this...you may have inspired that...the title, Slippery Grace rolling around in my brain for a while now. thanks for being a blessing.
blessings in His grace,
Nacole
Thank you for your words here. You make an excellent point in that it's easy to get discouraged in those times when we aren't producing. I hope you do write on this topic. I'd love to read! I might write on being still because it's most definitely a battle for me. Blessings:)
I've struggled with the legalism issue before and there was a time when I felt a bit trapped in a legalistic church community. This one hurts me especially because I don't want people to see the poor witness of legalism and think that this is what God or Christianity is all about. Seeking God and a relationship with Him is so much more and so much better than trying to meet other peoples' expectations.
AMEN. So well said. Thank you!
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