5-minute Friday: "Friends"

GO.
A friend is someone who, when she comes over for supper, you don't feel the need to pick the crumbs out of your butter first. You don't rush to scrub your bathrooms, you don't do your kids' hair, you don't even pick the clothes up out of the floor because the last time you were at her house it was so messy you couldn't believe it and when you saw it you just smiled to yourself and whispered Thank You, Lord.

A friend is thrilled for you when something good happens. She might wish it for herself too, and she even might be a little jealous but prays herself through it. But even more than that, she prays you through it.

She doesn't demand all your time. Yet when your life falls apart, she's there in a flash. When you mess up and things are all out of whack, she's there. And she doesn't judge but instead comes clean about what she's thinking. And still you don't feel condemned because she knows your heart even when it seems no one else does. She does the one thing you need the most. She points you toward Jesus.

A good friend loves at all times--loves you, loves your kids, loves your man, loves your parents. She even loves your dogs. Lord, may I be that kind of friend.
STOP.

* Linking up with Lisa-Jo over at The Gypsy Mama today. Happy Friday!

Falling apart

I don't like this. It's not like I imagined it would be, and it overwhelms me trying to hold it all together when it only wants to fall apart.

Yet I know the most wonderful things come out of the most painful predicaments. I know that in the most dire situations He's doing His most amazing work. I know that when it all goes to ruins, somehow it turns out He was just removing the old to bring in the new.

So, I don't like this. And I'm certain that means He's doing something wonderful.

Job 42

 1 Then Job answered the LORD and said:

 2 “I know that You can do everything,
And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.
 3 You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."

* Linking up with Internet Cafe Devotions for Word-Filled Wednesday and A Holy Experience for Walk with Him Wednesdays.

Unexpected

This morning I woke up wanting to cry and not knowing why. Then just before church a friend texted me asking to meet up for coffee later. I dearly love this friend of mine and always get excited when we make plans to hang out.

But I almost declined because when I'm in a funk I'd rather be alone. And then I thought twice about it and remembered how much I enjoy our talks, so I went ahead and said I'd go.

So once I was free I called her and she said "I'm coming" and we met up at the appointed spot, her not feeling much like being in public either and all embarrassed in her athletic shorts and t-shirt, and me all weepy and overdressed in my church clothes and jewelry.

Yet there we were, and in no time we were both in tears and partaking in some much-needed deep conversation. So I stayed for two hours, just talking and listening and breathing in His peace and her wisdom. And I walked away smiling, with way fewer tears and a desire to take my focus off of self and pray for her instead.

It was totally unexpected, yet exactly what I needed. Every now and then a little time spent with a good friend can leave you feeling like you just got a touch from Jesus.

201. he asked for a haircut on his own and I didn't even have to press
202. sitting outside in these cooler evenings
203. pizza delivery
204. unexpected visits with good friends
205. she got third chair out of 164!!!
206. I figured out how to use a tire gauge, kind of
207. the kids still watch the same movies they liked as toddlers
208. our Target has groceries now
209. clementines for $3
210. lots of ideas for 31 Days posts
211. chai tea lattes
212. Mexican Inn's corn tortillas
213. he brought all his grades up
214. the way they laugh when the dog rolls over and plays dead
215. fall has begun, and cooler weather just has to be on its way. Amen.

31 Days: An October gab-fest

I like to talk and usually don't have much trouble finding something to say. And since I've found that writing is no different, I'm turning this blog into a gab-fest for a whole month, starting on October 1.

Bloggers everywhere are taking the "31 days" challenge in October, where you choose a topic and write about it every day, all month long. The topics I've seen cover all kinds of things ... decorating, Photoshop, building a better marriage, planning your wedding, fall fun, organization, cooking, adoption--you name it, someone's probably writing about it. Should be lots of good reading.

I first read about this little writing challenge on Emily Freeman's blog, Chatting at the Sky, then I saw it again on her sister's blog, The Nesting Place. And when I saw how many other bloggers are participating, I decided I wanted to jump in, too.

I had to really think about what topic I could possibly write about for thirty-one days straight. I'm not expert enough to impart all that much wisdom in any one subject--except librarianship. But no one would care about that except other librarians, and they already know all the same things I know.

But it wasn't too long before I came up with a topic that I could probably write about every day for a year ...

It seems I'm always fighting a battle of some sort--and much of the time, several battles at once. So I don't know how much wisdom I'll impart with this topic, but I definitely won't be running out of things to say since I probably have at least a couple hundred thorns in my flesh.

Subjects are swirling in my mind already, and they range from superficial things like fighting frizzy hair and laughing at inappropriate times to fleshly things like trying not to cuss in front of my kids at all. And then there are things I find truly difficult, like being a God-pleaser vs. a man-pleaser, battling pride, and overcoming horrible memories.

Here are links to the original eight 31-day bloggers (and they really are experts, so you should check them out):

Nester – 31 Days of Charming Imperfection
Jen - 31 Days to Balancing Both Beauty and a Budget 
Jessica – 31 Days of Memory Keeping
Melissa: 31 Days: Inspired Holidays
Sandy: 31 Days of Warmer Connections
Darcy: 31 Days of Photo Tips
Emily: 31 Days to Change the World
Emily: 31 Days of the Little Things

I hope you won't mind seeing me in your inbox every day for awhile starting on October 1. Most of my posts will be short and sweet. I'm linking up with My Three Boybarians to join in the 31-day fun, and my friend Barbie at My Freshly Brewed Life will also be there. Her topic is "31 Days of Abiding". It'll be great! Join us?

Giving up coffee to share my Bread

Words. I'm in love with them, and I attribute this fondness to a mother who read to me before I could speak and to a father who bought me classics before I could understand.

So I grew up around more books than I knew what to do with, and nothing changed once I got out on my own. I went and filled up every last bookshelf in my home and ran out of room and then ventured into e-book territory and had to have a Kindle. In college I majored in English because I just didn't like anything else. I figured at least English majors get to read and write.

If you'd asked me as a child what the most important book in our home was, I would have said "the Bible" because I knew that was the correct answer. But the ugly truth is that although I loved to read, I didn't much like reading the Word of God. I had Sunday school teachers who were more than happy to tell me what it said, but to read it myself was a chore that I found ... well, boring.

So once I grew out of an oppressive obligation to learn my weekly memory verse, I bore the shame as a teen of not having the quiet times I knew I should. And then I became the wife and mom who tried to do it all better by reading lots and lots of devotionals.

Only, when I read all those amazing devotionals, I skipped right over the scriptures and moved straight onto the personal stories of the writers. And in doing so, I skipped over the only words that really matter.

And then tragedy raged in and ripped me apart, and I stood confused and alone in the smoldering ruins of my life. And I looked around and had no earthly idea where to go next. I wasn't exactly equipped to face my uncertain future since I'd hidden very little of the Word in my heart.

But out of the ash heap, what did I reach for? Ironically, those life-giving Words I'd neglected my entire life, because there was nothing else to hold onto. Everything was different and suddenly I couldn't bear life without the steadfast, enduring Word of God.

And so that Book I'd taken for granted for so long, the bestselling Book of all time, became my constant companion. I reached for it first thing each morning. I devoured its contents throughout the day. I carried it in my purse when I left the house. I even held it close to me in sleep each night.

I couldn't face the future without the promises of all things made new. I couldn't find peace without the reassurance that He's in control. I couldn't get a deep breath without inhaling those Words of Christ in red. I couldn't be satisfied until I'd feasted on pages that gushed His endless, unfathomable Grace.

And in clinging to those precious Words, I found the Truth that turns everything around, no matter who you are or where you've been or what you've done or what you've lost. And once you've truly tasted the Bread of Life, you can't get enough of Him.

This week I became aware of a new kind of poverty. I knew people were starving for food, but I'd never thought the fact that they don't have Bibles. They're hungry not just for bread, but for The Bread, and yet have no access to it in their native language.

And 66% of Christians rarely or never read their Bible? Lord, forgive me for ever taking Your Word for granted.

I stumbled upon a website, OneVerse (affiliated with Wycliffe Bible Translators), whose mission is to see to it that every soul on earth has the Scriptures available to them in a language that speaks to their hearts. As I read the stories of those who've never ever held a Bible or heard the Gospel, and then when I imagined myself in such a place, my heart broke.

And I wondered, Where would I be without the Word of God? How could I face the aching of this life without His promises? What would my purpose be without a knowledge of His saving grace and the hope He offers for eternal life? What if I'd never, ever heard the Gospel?

Yet 353 million people have no access to Scripture translated into their native language. And that makes me want to do what I can to share my Bread and help end Bible poverty in my own small way.

I’ve learned that a person can have one verse translated for the small sacrifice of four or five Starbucks drinks in a month. So I'm totally in. Are you?

Go ye therefore and teach all nations ... Matthew 28:1

5-Minute Friday: "Growing"

GO.

Growing. How it hurts sometimes. I carried each of them home for the first time in my arms and the growing pains began--the recovery, the sleepless nights, the angst of growing into a decent parent.

Then I watched my pain become theirs as they grew and learned about heartbreak and skinned knees and what "hot" means and how ugly people can be to each other.

So they grew older and I grew wiser, and all they wanted to do was grow up more. To be older than now, always. It never changes--we all just want to grow up.

And so they are. My oldest, whom I carried home for the first time only just yesterday, will be an adult next month. Eighteen years of watching her grow from no shoes at all into plastic high heels, then from wishing she could wear my shoes into thinking my shoes are too old-womanish.

And pretty soon she'll put on her own trendy shoes and walk right out of my home and into her own. All grown up.

I can only pray that as they grow into their own adult-sized skin, He is growing their hearts into a heart like His. And Lord, how that hurts sometimes. But what more beautiful kind of hurt is there than growing in Him?

STOP.

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.  2 Peter 3:18

Linking up with The Gypsy Mama to just write for five minutes without worrying whether it's just right or not. Blessings to you this Friday!

Reaching

A while back I started praying a prayer that I would never again put a person above Jesus in my life. That's a challenge sometimes when you're a mom. It's also hard when you're a wife (or maybe even if you just want to be). Nevertheless, I try to stay conscious of my tendency toward placing those I love above my one True Love.

But sometimes other people aren't the problem. Sometimes it's things. Maybe not even material things, but just too many things that fill our time. Things that hoard our attention and our energy. Things that wear us down and trick us into thinking we're just too tired to spend time in the Word, too exhausted to form intelligible words in prayer.

Our puppy Samson loves to be held like a baby, with his tummy toward our chests and his paws on our shoulders. It's because my girls have held him that way his whole life. He even walks up to us and puts his little paws on our legs to let us know he wants to be held, in that same please-pick-me-up way a baby reaches its arms up toward its mommy and daddy.

May we be the same way with our Heavenly Father. May we reach for Him every day, every hour. May we yearn for Him to hold us, and may we forsake the meaningless things in this life and seek Him above anyone or anything else.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33

I {still} slam doors.

We had a "misunderstanding" over the weekend. Well, actually I had a misunderstanding--and it wasn't pretty. I got angry and let him know it. He tried talking things out, but I only got more upset.

So I got my angry self up and marched right out of the room and away from the words that would've brought me peace if only I'd listened to the truth of what he was saying. I even slammed a door on my way out.

And you know what he did? He opened that door right up and came and found me and said he was sorry for hurting me, sorry for the thing I was upset about. Sorry for the thing I misconstrued to be something it wasn't.

So I acted like a baby, and he showed me compassion.

And today it brings me to tears how much he cared that I was hurt--in spite of my anger, in spite of the fit I threw, and even though the reason for it all existed only in my imagination. That's quite an example to set for someone {like me} who used to feel justified in getting mad at the other person simply because they got mad at me first. Or for someone {like me} who goes around slamming doors when they get mad. I thought I'd risen above that sort of thing.

There was a time not so long ago when I said I was done with relationships, done taking chances on love. Then a friend heard me say so and warned me not to place limits on what God might be doing in my life. She assured me there would be someone else in my future, and I remember her words clearly as she prophesied: "He will be so full of Jesus that he will bring tears to your eyes and healing to your heart."

And what a difference the love of Jesus makes. How it heals the hurts of our past. What mercy. Thank you, Lord.

Oh, and B? I'm sorry again. Thank you for loving me anyway. You are full of Jesus and it does make me cry.

181. he opens doors:)

182. he loves Jesus more than he loves anyone else

183. he's painstakingly careful with his words

184. he brought me roses again

185. and I'll never, ever get tired of seeing them or smelling them

186. he's up for fun outings on the spur of the moment

187. he lets me play in his band even though they are professionals and I'm not

188. he gave an amazing message on Sunday (even though it made me want to sink down and disappear into my chair a little)

189. his music makes me bawl my head off

190. he calls me during the day

191. he texts me, too, even though he still has a flip phone and each text must take him forever

192. he cherishes the word of God and has hidden more of it in his heart than anyone I've ever known

193. he makes me stop it when I'm being negative about myself

194. he hollers {really loudly} at the TV screen during football games, even in restaurants 

195. then he's like, "What?" when I laugh about it

196. he's a blast to hang out with

197. he prays for me

198. he strives for excellence in everything he does

199. he's an amazing leader {in settings of worship and otherwise}

200. he has the memory of an elephant yet he never, ever uses it against me. Amen.

Just one touch

It was a risk, and she knew it. To be there was breaking the law. But He was her last hope, and she was desperate.

So she pushed her way through and reached out for that one precious touch. And in an instant the healing came and He felt power leave Him and He turned around and she fell trembling.

But isn't it just like Him to speak the perfect thing to calm our fears? "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction." (Mark 5:34)

He's our only hope, too. May we seek Him the way she did, and may we know His touch today.

5-Minute Friday: "Joy"

GO.
I grew up a Southern Baptist girl with the sounds of Gaither music swirling in the air, both at home and at church. When I thought of joy this morning, a Gaither song came to mind.

Hold on my child, joy comes in the morning ...

I used to think joy meant happiness and laughing. I used to think sadness came when joy flew the coop. But now I know that joy isn't always a feeling.

I've learned that we can only know the fullest joy by going deeper in Jesus. Because once we do, we know Who's holding us in His great big capable hands. We trust that it'll all be okay, one way or another. We get that this isn't our home and these things don't matter nearly as much as we once thought they did. We could turn cartwheels over the prospect of spending eternity with Him in Person, every single day.

For me true joy is being wildly thankful, serenely at peace, and blindly trusting all at the same time. It's living life in relentless pursuit of Him and hanging on for dear life even through the tears and the turmoil. It's remembering that even if I can't smile now, I will again soon. It's knowing He's in control and He's already secured us and everything's gonna be alright.

Sometimes it all comes out in smiles and laughter, but the joy's still there when it doesn't. This is the truest, deepest, most amazing joy. The joy of the Lord.

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5

STOP.
Linking up with Gypsy Mama today for her 5-Minute Friday post (where she calls out a topic and we just write for five minutes without worrying whether it's just right or not.) Happy Friday to you!

When tears fall

It's been two and a half years, and she hasn't really cried at all. She's stubborn and strong and able to accomplish things far beyond what her years would make you think she should or could.

But she was only nine when she lost him, and how can it be healthy to never cry over him?

I spend much of my life trying not to cry over all kinds of things, depending on where I am or what time it is or what I'm wanting to cry about. But still, there comes a point when I just can't hold it back and the tears have to fall.

I heard a preacher say once that tears are one of the best gifts God gives us when it comes time to grieve. That's good news for a crier like me. But it's bad news when you see someone you love refusing to let those stir-crazy tears out of prison.

So I've talked to her and I've prayed for her and I've shed endless tears myself, yet countless times I've looked at her and seen the tears rising up and all but spilling over, and then I've seen her stubborn self just stuffing them right back down again.

That is, until last night. She finally cried, praise God--and just because she misses him. And so the healing begins.

And He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4

A handful of dirt

I saw the couple standing across from me and my heart broke all over again. I pried my gaze away but the next place I looked was another couple, arm in arm. And then another. Everywhere, couples standing together, being there for each other. It made me want to scream.

So I turned my eyes to the flowers on the casket and tuned in to the preacher's words. This time it was my uncle who'd gone to Heaven, his departure only four weeks after our last big loss. The one that shattered our home and ripped me in half.

The preacher droned on. "Until He comes again, death is our only exit from this life...." I didn't want to listen to the words I so desperately needed to hear. Being at a funeral again this soon was killing me and I just wanted to get out of there. So I looked away from all those infuriating couples, away from the casket, and toward the fresh mound of dirt only a few footsteps away. The urge to scream vanished as waves of grief overcame me. How can the broken pieces of a soul keep on shattering? But sometimes they can.

All these women have their husbands by their side and mine is  under that pile of dirt. As the preacher wrapped things up, the mound beckoned me. When I reached it I fell to my knees and rested my hands on the dirt, the anger rising up again. How could you do this to me? You should be here with the kids and me, not down there. We need you. But the closest I could get to him was a handful of dirt.

So I cursed my circumstances and squeezed that dry, dusty dirt in my furious fist and watched it fall through my fingers to the ground. Again I fought the urge to scream because how rotten is it to hold a handful of worthless dirt instead of the thing you really want?

But oh how much like that dirt are the things we treasure in this life. The more tightly we clench them, the more easily they slip away. So I knelt there longing to touch the one who'd left me, despising my fistful of stupid sorry dirt, knowing my yearnings were futile because none of it would bring him back.

How much more easily I could've borne it all if only I'd known the seeds God would sow in that ugly-brown mound of dirt. If only I'd realized the amazing things He can do through heart-wrenching circumstances like mine. If only I'd understood that losing this love would drive me to my one True Love and into the deepest love relationship of my life.

When my babies were little my Granny used to tell me kids need a certain amount of dirt to be healthy. She was probably right, but now I'd take it a little farther than that. Today I'd say that sometimes the dirt is what keeps us alive.

Even still, God is using that wretched mound of dirt to sow into me the seeds of love and mercy and healing, and to root me firmly in Him. To feed me, grow me, prune me, and transform me into someone who's finally starting to get it, someone who is living the abundance of life in Christ. The growing pains have been more agonizing than I can articulate, yet more life-giving than I ever dreamed.

I'll never stop thanking God for all He's done in me and for the new life He's given me. And to think it all begin with a wretched pile of dirt.

161. the life-giving seeds He sows in our hearts

162. awesome worship this weekend

163. good times with great friends

164. godly wisdom imparted to me by those I respect

165. the Holy Spirit's leading

166. birthday camp-out in the back yard was a success

168. Discount Tire Company

169. tears shed during communion yesterday morning

170. how much fun his gigs are

171. and I didn't forget my phone this time

172. the busy (but fun!) week of classes ahead

173. he's fifteen now and I love every single day I've had with him

174. redneck camping lights

175. party food (despite the next morning's food hangover)

176. I got this week's classwork done in one sitting

177. dogs. I just love 'em!

178. my dream come true of having a home filled with music

179. his beautiful songs and the way they make me cry

180. the puppy chewed a hole in the carpet and now I can't find it.:) Amen. 

Tardy slips, redneck lockers, and other 6th grade woes

This year my twins are in sixth grade and I am their school librarian. Thing One was in last week with her class, and during a little talk I was giving I looked over and she had both her index fingertips on her eyeballs, moving her contacts back and forth. I slipped a "STOP" in as I was speaking and she did while the other kids just looked around trying to figure out who I was talking to. And she's my germ-a-phobe! Silly girl.

Thing Two's class came in the next day, and all he could do was sit there and giggle during my entire lesson with an embarrassed look on his face. I guess he thought it was funny his mom was talking to his class. But when I was finished giving my spiel, he walked over and gave me a big hug, so I guess he wasn't too embarrassed after all.

Life's gotten interesting lately, not just because they're at my school, but because it's middle school. They even have lockers. I think I win the "Redneck Mother of the Year" award for the way we decorated their lockers with pieced-together, taped up wrapping paper and homemade signs. I wasn't aware of the sophisticated pre-cut locker paper you can get nowadays. And did you realize you can even get chandeliers for locker ceilings?? Who knew? I wish I didn't.

Thing Two is having a hard time in school already. Today I got a couple of emails from his teachers saying he's been tardy too much and he's coming to class unprepared. He's forgotten his homework so many times that now he has to serve detention. I've seen his redneck locker for myself and it's already a disaster.

Sometimes in the mornings I watch him walk away from me and into his day and my heart just aches. I see things like him dropping his books in the hallway and having to pick them up with the kids all rushing past and I want to rush out myself and help him, yet I know he needs to make it without me. Most mornings for me lately are "Lord, let him make it okay" mornings. Sometimes the only way we can (or should) help our kids is by praying for them.

So I was feeling a little discouraged about it all until my sweet, disorganized mess of a boy gave me the biggest hug ever after school. It was a hug that made me know that somehow it'll all be okay.

I'm thankful for caring teachers who want success and independence for him as much as I do. I know he'll make it even if he has a tougher time than most. Even though his earthly father is gone, I know his Heavenly Father loves him even more than I do, and he's in good hands.

But I still wonder sometimes ... why did God choose me to be his mother when I'm such a mess myself? Whatever His reason(s), I'm glad He did.

5-minute Friday: "In Real Life"

5-Minute Friday time! ... where you just write for five minutes without worrying whether it's just right or not. I'm linking up with the Gypsy Mama for today's topic: In Real Life.

Go.
I've been thinking about technology--what it does for us vs. what it does to us. Just last weekend I had a freak-out over forgetting my phone on a night out, then the next day I met a good friend for lunch and we ended up sitting and talking for three hours and I was reminded how much better things are in real life.

I look back on how much talking we did during that rendezvous. How much laughing. How much it wouldn't have been the same as texting or Facebooking or blog-commenting. Not the same at all.

So what does technology do for us? It offers convenience, connection, and a definite coolness factor to our lives that I really do embrace and feel thankful for. But what does it do to us? It can control us. It can cloud how we perceive another's words. It can trick us into thinking connections made through electronic media are enough.

People want community, and this desire didn't originate on Facebook. Even though sometimes online is all we have, it's not always enough. What would life be without hugging, tone of voice, laughing, or seeing for yourself how someone's face lights up when they first see you?

Our Creator made us with a desire to need each other. And who among us hasn't missed someone? If you've ever been away from someone you love and then been reunited with them (or even if you haven't) you know that nothing beats real life. Nothing.
Stop.

Too much technology?

I used to watch Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman back in the 90s. I remember one of her lines in an episode where she was arguing with Sully about the railroad coming through town (or something like that) and she shouted "You can't stop progress!".

And she was right. Or her screenwriter was right. We definitely cannot stop progress, technological or otherwise.

I'm a huge fan of gadgets and technology of all kinds. I don't have time for TV, but I can't imagine life without computers and I'm extremely attached to my Macbook. I'm fascinated with the new world of e-reading and love my Kindle. Even though I can't justify the purchase, I wish for an iPad. And apparently I don't even know how to function without my iPhone.

This past weekend we were going to one of B's gigs, and halfway there I realized I'd forgotten my cell phone. And I totally freaked out.

Today I'm thinking back to the scene and I don't like how it made me feel to be without my phone. I got frustrated and even a little sick to my stomach. I almost started to panic. What if my kids need to call me? What about that bank transfer I was going to make on the way? What if I miss an important email? What will my friends think if they text me and I don't answer? Heck, I can't even check Facebook!

B had his phone, so at least I had a way to talk to my kids. But his phone ... well, it's a flip-phone. Practically an antique. He isn't a fan of smart-phones (he says he chooses to remain smarter than his phone). So I attempted to text the kids on his flip-phone and couldn't even remember how. Which frustrated me even more. So as I sat fuming and grinding my teeth, it occurred to me that I must have a problem.

Questions nagged me as I sat there with no way to text or check messages or get on Facebook or move money around. Why am I so dependent on my phone? Why do I feel I have to be so connected?  I started to see just how much this "staying connected" consumes me.

And I also realized how much I don't want to be controlled by anything or anyone ... except the Holy Spirit. How can I go days at a time not spending quality time with Him, yet I freak out over being without my iPhone for four hours? Nothing about that feels right to me.

Is there anyone else out there like me? Have you made a decision to give up your smart-phone? Do you limit yourself when it comes to technology and/or social networking?

And the wind blows

I should have known something was blowing in yesterday. Or maybe I should say blowing out. This relentless Texas heat wave has lasted for such a long time now. But yesterday something was different. It was windy and a few degrees lower (but only a few). 

So only a day ago the wind was blowing and I was in turmoil over some things. But God brought something big to a close yesterday in my life, and now I see that winds were blowing in the spiritual realm, too.

This morning I'm having coffee out back in my swing. And guess what ... I need a blanket. It's still breezy and almost cold out here, and I can't believe it. It's like He's moved that heat wave on out of here right along with what needed to be over and done with and gone from my life.

And so the wind blows, and a chapter closes.

Sometimes we hate the wind. It blows trash into the yard. It blows our skirts up and our hairstyles all out of whack. It blows things in our eyes. It can be irritating and sometimes downright dangerous. But there are some things that just need to be blown right on out of here, and He knows it.

So this morning I'm thankful He's still on His throne, He's still moving like the wind, and cool breeze never felt so glorious.

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit. " John 3:8

141. fall is coming, praise God!

142. Starbucks vanilla coffee right out of the press. Yum.

143. watching the doggies play

144. a family that has my back

145. lunch with a wonderful friend

146. friends who pray for me

147. friends who encourage me

148. the worship gig went okay

149. God's reminders that there are always opportunities for witness

150. he did the yard for me

151. things are calming down a little at work

152. my back porch swing

153. I still can't believe I'm actually a student again

154. the worship gig went okay!

155. Texas barbecue

156. I'm back in contact with one of my oldest and dearest friends

157. some of my friends are starting to write ... so exciting!

158. my Mama was sick, but she's better now

159. the countless ways He somehow makes it all okay

160. His beautiful wind. Amen.

Salt-water clean

It's just one thing after another, and it all collects into one big ocean of heartache and worry and sometimes this life is just too much.

And the salty waves keep rolling in, blasting me in the face and making me choke and sputter, and it's all I can do to catch my breath in between. And I'm sinking because I haven't the strength to tread water or swim, and all I know to do is float.

And there's something about the floating. The just being there. Just letting the water hold me up.

And then I know exactly Who this vast body of water is, and I relax into Him and let Him hold me up. And He reminds me that it's just a bad day, and doesn't the enemy always work this way? It's never one little thing that happens, but more like the floodgates of hell have opened up and nothing can stop these blasted waves from rolling in and this ocean will never be calm again.

But even when my eyes can't see through the salty burn, I know Him well enough to know that the doors of Heaven are open even wider and blessing is on its way. And His waves are no match for those evil ones that seek to pull me under. He and I will ride the waves together and He will turn my mourning into dancing as He always does. So I cling to Him and I rebuke the enemy, in Jesus' name.

And the waves wash me clean.