I thought about how different her "normal" is from my "normal". I thought about how she has to get her big boy in and out of the car in the 106° heat and bring him inside. I thought of how she has to do that everywhere she goes, all summer long during these miserable, scorching-hot days.
And she keeps on going, all year long, even in the rain. Even when the temperature drops down into the bitter-cold teens. I wondered ... does she find her circumstances bitter? And would I?
And then I find myself thanking God that I don't know. But if I did, would I be able to accept it? Would I be so cheerful about it? I do have a child with some mild challenges (I've written a little about him here), and just this week I found myself asking his new PE coach to please watch out for him this year, and to protect him from the bullies and the cruel remarks.
And as I articulated my request, I cried like a baby. It tears me up to think about others being cruel to him. In fact, it hurts me far more than it bothers him. The other day I asked him if the other kids make fun of him for the way he walks, and he said "I walk normally."
And I praised God because for the most part, he does. He can run and play and think and do his school work. He speaks perfectly and figures things out and is gifted in so many ways. But I could have been that mother I saw over the weekend. Why can my child run and play when hers can't? And why can she accept her "normal", but I don't want to accept mine and I just keep on praying for something different?
And what is "normal", really?
So many things in this life are beyond our understanding. But one thing I know: we cannot see the big picture. We are blind to the endless ways God receives glory through the circumstances we so despise.
I pray my son will be healed and free of his struggles some day. But maybe God has different plans, and if that's the case, I want to be at peace with it. When we look around and see others bearing life's burdens with joy, I would venture to guess that we can't even fathom the eternal reward waiting for them, if they are Christians.
So, instead of looking at that person who's worse off than me and whispering "Thank You, Lord that that isn't me", I now resolve to pray differently.
Now my prayer will be "Please give them strength and sustain them with Your amazing grace. May their eternal reward be infinitely wonderful, beyond anything their earthly minds can imagine."
Or something to that effect.
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Cor. 4:17-18 NKJV
#101-120
101. ice cream
102. we're almost totally ready for school to start
103. seeing good friends after the long break
104. God's mercies, and they are new every morning
105. seeing them jump up and down over new shoes
106. laughing over stupid stuff in Target
107. he barks to go outside now
108. getting more organized at work
109. the fun of seeing all the 80s trends coming back around
110. migraine medicine
111. a wonderful message at church
112. those times when my kids hang out together by choice and laugh their heads off
113. the wide array of Tex-Mex restaurants in our area
114. the yard's getting greener all the time
115. she makes the best peanut butter cookies ever
116. how proud they make me when they perform
117. they can open their lockers just fine, even though I worried quite a bit
118. they're about to go to a new school
119. I really do love being a librarian
120. he brought me roses again just because, and they are beautiful. Amen.
10 comments:
Yes! Isn't it amazing how He gives us what we can handle? I see people hungry, and begging around our city (Kampala) and wonder what I would do if I was destitute. But He is sufficient. And I pray that I would rejoice, always, no matter what. Thanks for the reminder! Blessings to you!
Oh how this touches me. I work in a house with 8 developmentally disabled grown men. The disabled have been a passion of mine for nearly 10 years, actually longer than that, I had a close friend in elementary school who used a walker and went to the "special" classes. So many people mis-judge what they don't understand. I am grateful that you have decided to look at it in a different light. I, too, find myself praying for strength of the parents of disabled children rather than trying to figure out if I could handle it. (we have no kids yet, I can't confidently say "whew, glad that didn't happen to any of my kids, because I know it still could). Thanks for the light shed on the concept of disabled people.
I complain about my own challenges, yet when I look at the struggles other people endure, what do I have to complain about? So true, such a great reminder. Enjoyed reading your list.
LOVE your list, especially #107! Mine asked to go outside several times yesterday - no indoor accidents! :)
Thanks for sharing!
So very true! We're all given our challenges and 'thorns' - but we are uniquely qualified to handle them. It must work best according to God's plan when we accept what we have and pray for those around us!
Visiting from Ann's and all I can say is how young you look for having 4 older kids! But aside from that, you also shine with the Lord's spirit and your trust in the Lord is beautiful. Thanks for being an inspiration!
Hello, I'm also visiting from Ann's. I love your kind spirit that comes across this post. Your list is great! I had to laugh at the 80s trends coming back...isn't that crazy?!
Maria @ Linen & Verbena
Thank you for the reminder that "God receives glory through the circumstances we so despise." I don't have a child that has physical challenges. I do have a prodical daughter & I need to be reminded everyday that He has a plan! I discovered your blog over at A Holy Experience. Thanks!
This made me teary. Even though I know God designs us all to look and talk the way we do, my heart breaks for those who struggle w/ being different. It makes you want to encourage those you see and lavish them w/ love.
Wow! I found you "accidently". It is amazing. I could not believe my eyes when I read your words. Just yesterday while talking to God, I told him that having a child with a mental illness is not bad...it is just different. I agree with you..."What is normal anyway?" Thank you!
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