I cry "mercy"

If you prayed for me yesterday, thank you so much. My speaking engagement went very well! The attendees were very gracious, and I pray the Lord spoke through me. I'm very grateful for the new doors that are opening in my life.

God places a calling on our lives, and then the enemy wants desperately to stop us from fulfilling that calling.  So I expected to experience some distraction as I prepared for yesterday's event. The devil really is so predictable. And since I've come through some difficult valleys thus far, I suppose I expect to successfully withstand whatever else lurks around the next corner. So I was surprised to find myself in tears as I drove to the luncheon yesterday. Last week was full of quite a few small and insignificant obstacles, but some bigger issues have surfaced lately that have had me flat sick to my stomach and begging God for mercy.

My younger daughter has never really grieved for her father. I've only seen her cry twice over him. Once was on the day he died, and the other time was at his funeral. She was a daddy's girl, but she almost never speaks of him. But in the last few months she has been experiencing some anger issues, and now she's beginning to show signs of depression. I assume this is due to delayed grief.  I am actively seeking help for her, but if you would pray for her, it would mean the world to me. Her name is Shay.

No one should have to lose their daddy at age nine, and it has occurred to me just this weekend that really the kids have lost even more than I have. A widowed person can move on and remarry, but you can't replace a biological parent. The Lord can fill that void for you with Himself or a perhaps with wonderful earthly substitute if he chooses, but you will never have that parent with you again for the duration of your time here on this earth. It's difficult for me to bear seeing my children endure a loss of this magnitude, with all the anger and pain that it entails.

As I drove tearfully toward my destination yesterday, I pondered my emotional state and thought once again about how God takes what the enemy means for bad and turns it to good. I cried out to Him...Lord, here I am, upset and at my weakest. What a perfect time for You to show up and be my Strength and do this through me. I need You, Lord. I cry" mercy". And just as He always does, He gave me peace and showed me His unending mercy and carried me through my first thirty minutes of a brand new speaking ministry. And He will carry me through the rest of this valley. I believe Him for that because He is faithful.


Psalm 116:1  I love the Lord, for He heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy.  2  Because He turned His ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live. 

I have a very talented friend who wrote a song years ago about the mercy of God. He will hardly sing it for me anymore because I bawl like a baby every single time he does. I'm amazed at how I am affected when I listen to those anointed words he sings so beautifully. His song takes me back to a day not so long ago when I stood in front of a mirror in my black funeral dress, red eyes, wet face, barely able to recognize my own reflection and wondering how this could even be happening to a regular person like me. I remember that horrible pit all too well. But I also remember how my God came to me and met me right where I was and showed me His profound mercy. Where would I be today if He hadn't done that for me?

No matter the bad choices I make, no matter what sin I commit, and no matter what catastrophe occurs, He bestows His incredible mercy upon me time and time again. When I call on Him, He answers---and I'm thankful His merciful supply is abundant and without end. Amen.